Happy Valentine’s Day to me.

While New York’s weather hadn’t followed me to LA, my old habits did.

I went to a soul food vegetarian restaurant in Brooklyn with Maria and Trisha. The food was excellent. As were the margharitas. So good that I didn’t notice the glob of ketchup which had nestled itself into my skirt. .

My distraction had something to do with Law & Order SVU. Most of my distractions do.

No Krakow Christmas could be complete without the spillage of some traditional Polish beer.

And on a side note: this is not a shot of my stomach. I'm wearing a long shirt. It's an awkward angle. But it's my hip. MY HIP!

The man who works at the cart the corner of 35th and 6th does his job well. He's always happy to see you. He even remembers that you take milk and a month ago you stopped taking sugar. Too bad he forgets to close the lid on your coffee cup all the way.

Drinking after work is dangerous. To myself. To my clothes. To my cabdrivers.

The gin & tonic might possibly be the perfect Saturday night beverage. Except when held by a drunken friend at a very narrow bar within a square foot of you.

Another night at the office. Another night of Thai food. Another night when I realized too late that I should never wear white.

The soda machine is supposed to charge 55 cents. But when I don’t have exact change and I feed it a nice crisp dollar it charges 75 cents. Does the soda machine think I won’t notice? Or is it angry with me because I don’t carry around exact change?

Asking for extra soy sauce is always risky. You either get glares from the woman behind the counter at Chopsticks or you spill it all over your sweatshirt.

warm drink in your hand = comforting

warm drink on your shirt = uncomfortable

There is no real research that supports the soy milk over regular milk health claim. So why do I continue to buy it? Shelf life baby. And shelf life's what counts.

Blurry Yet Present

Approx .5” x 1” in size
Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food on overpriced t-shirt.
Limited edition 1 of 1
Unframed

94 degrees. It's the exact temperature where steam comes up off the pavement. Babies cry. Puppies drool. And Cookies & Cream frozen yogurt melts all over your skirt.

The pesto grease has formed some sort of nipple on my skirt.

Pax is a reliable food vendor. You walk in and you know you’re not going to get anything incredible. Nothing original. Just a solidly okay sandwich. The garden pesto pressata, like most Pax sandwiches, is a mediocre marvel. And, as it turns out, a mess.

Every morning before work I feed my cat. It takes a violent shake to dislodge the gooey clumps of Science Diet Catfood from it’s can. Perhaps my shake was a little too violent because the catfood spilled all over the counter and my tanktop.

I then decided that running water over my shirt would wash away the stain. That turned out to be a very optimistic decision.

One thing about where I work - they only give you ten dollars towards dinner if you stay past 8 pm. Where are you supposed to find dinner for under ten dollars in midtown? This particular night I was working late on a brief and I ordered some $11 pad thai. I was going over the ten dollar maximum and I liked it.

I felt like a rebel. Like I should be adding an extra beverage onto my order.

So I asked for a Thai iced tea. The very Thai iced tea that found its destiny on my white long sleeve tee that Cousin Barbara bought me last Christmas. Sorry, Cousin Barbara. Sorry, long sleeve tee. As the liquid absorbed into my sleeve, I thought – maybe this is why we only get ten bucks for dinner.

Fourth grade was not my best year. Somehow, I managed to spill the contents of a juicebox on my shirt on photo day. This did not help the mullet situation one bit. Or the fact that I was attempting to rock a bolo tie.